Five Snowflakes

The thing about IVF is that it's relatively unpredictable. Most people who haven't been through it don't realize the combination of steps and gambles, twists and turns, along the way. We just had one of these happen to us. Fortunately, it may be a blessing in disguise.

First of all, I've mentioned before that I was overstimmed during my first IVF, which was likely the cause of my low egg maturity rate, and that my stim dosages were decreased this time, in an attempt to avoid overstimulation. Well, it seems to have worked! IVF #1: 21 sizeable follicles, 19 eggs retrieved, 8 mature, 5 embryos after fertilization with ICSI. IVF #2: 9 sizeable follicles, 11 eggs retrieved, 7 mature, 5 embryos after fertilization with ICSI. So you can see that the success rate at each step has been higher.

Today was the third day after egg retrieval (which by the way, was curiously more painful this time). We learned from the Embryologist that all 5 embryos are still growing, although one is slacking. A healthy embryo should be 6 or more cells by this point. Today we had a 9-cell, two 8-cells, a 7-cell, and a 5-cell. If my memory is correct, with IVF #1, we had an 8 cell, three 6-cells and a 5-cell. So the theme of higher success rates at each step of IVF #2 is continuing!

This IVF cycle has been more complicated because we want to do preimplantation genetic screening (PGS) at the day 5 stage, instead of day 3 like last time. In IVF #1, we had a single-cell biopsy done of our embryos at day 3, to test them for a severe chromosomal abnormality, and hopefully prevent another miscarriage. The results came back on day 5, and we had one competent embryo. Two tested as incompetent, and two were inconclusive. Unfortunately, the two that were inconclusive had already ceased growing on their own, or we would have given them a try.

A day 5 biopsy collects more than one cell for testing, and it takes longer to get the results. But it's also more accurate. However, it does require freezing. So our first plan for IVF #2 was to do a freeze-all cycle. But then, considering that we could easily end up with only 1 or 2 embryos to test at day 5, and that the 5-day growth process culls some of the genetically incompetent embryos anyway, we decided to have a back-up plan of preparing for an embryo transfer. In the case that we ended up with only 1 or 2 embryos at day 5, doing PGS seemed pretty pointless. But the result has been that I have had to prepare for both circumstances - a freeze-all, and a day 5 transfer. Having to explain this over and over again to confused nurses was no picnic.

Today, when the Embryologist called with our day 3 results, I was so relieved when she said we still have all five. If we had already been down to 1 or 2 poor-grade embryos, we would have gone in for a transfer today, and I am still in pain from my egg retrieval on Thursday, so I really don't feel ready to get pregnant. I was already getting worried about the very realistic possibility I would need to do a transfer on Tuesday, wondering if I would still be in pain. But, she also had some surprising news.

The Embryologist told me that they always grow a batch of mouse embryos to test the culture medium and lab environment, and that all her mouse embryos had just died. She needed to pull all embryos out of culture. In other words, they all had to be either transferred or frozen. So we froze all five of our embryos. The more accurate term would be "cryogenically preserved", but "froze" is easier to type.

Of course, the idea of something being seriously wrong in my embabies' first nursery concerns me, but I couldn't be happier with the Embryologist's response time, and her focus on saving them. The amazing part is this feels like a blessing. My body does not feel ready to become pregnant right now. This will give me a few weeks to feel completely healthy again.

So when will we get PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise-describing my state after an embryo is transferred)? Probably anywhere from late September to late October. Vague enough for you? I'll write more about what that part will entail in a later post. For now, we have five snowflake babies resting peacefully. Please pray for them and for us!

As always, please feel free to ask any questions. This often seems like science-fiction to me, but at this point I've probably become so familiar with it, I brush over some points that need explained. No question is too simple.

Thankful Thursday: Spa Professionals

It has been awhile since I've done a Thankful Thursday post, but as I was getting a massage earlier this week, it occurred to me that I don't know what I'd do without my spa professionals!

I'm thankful for my aestheticians - the ones that regularly wax my eyebrows, and the one that gave me my first ever facial this week! It was just a mini-facial, but it made me feel great. Thank God for the aestheticians that allow me to focus on me, and make me feel beautiful in the process.

Most of all, I'm thankful for massage therapists! They work magic with their hands and arms, kneading the stress out of my shoulders and back, soothing tired, aching arms and legs, and finding tension points I didn't know existed in my hands and feet. I have had some massage therapists that were absolutely heaven-sent. I'm thankful that these skilled people found their way to this profession, where they spend their time and energy helping the rest of us simply feel better.

Friday Freakout: Bad Clinic Behavior

I don’t understand why IVF clinics aren’t more sensitive to what their patients are going through. I don’t understand why they aren’t more careful to ensure they don’t stress us out more than we already are, and why they don’t make the effort to provide us with more information and greater transparency, so that we can have some sense of trust and control in a situation where we are vulnerable and powerless.

Photo by takomabibelot

The Wacky Wicketeer and I have been patients at three clinics in Northern California. Here are some of the stressful mistakes we have encountered:
·        Failed to diagnose me properly
·        Failed to inform us of miscarriage risks to IUI due to our diagnosis
·        Miscalculated dates on IUI protocol calendar
·        Made us wait over an hour in the waiting room, making our appointment over an hour late (multiple occasions, and multiple clinics)
·        Miscalculated prescription quantity
·        Mishandled post-miscarriage fetal tissue
·        Improperly tested post-miscarriage fetal tissue
·        Lied about limitations of genetic testing of post-miscarriage fetal tissue
·        Failed to return phone calls (multiple occasions, and multiple clinics)
·        Failed to respond to emails (multiple occasions, and multiple clinics)
·        Talked to me like I was an idiot for asking about the safety of progesterone suppositories during pregnancy, after I had already miscarried once while on them
·        Delayed submitting my prescriptions to the specialty mail-order pharmacy until the last minute (I only received them 18 hours before I had to use them because I spent two days on the phone yelling and pleading with people)
·        Failed to timely submit an insurance claim
·        Minimized & failed to warn me about potential recovery time after egg retrieval
·        Delayed my cycle start date by a week for a non-medical reason after we had already rescheduled work, work travel, and numerous other activities
·        Tried to delay my cycle start date by a week for a non-medical reason a SECOND TIME, after we had already re-rescheduled everything around the first change
·        Delayed giving me dates for an injection class until a week before, such that I couldn’t go because I already had bought plane tickets, conference passes, and made reservations for an out-of-town conference
·        Failed to give me a pre-emptive pain med prescription for the most painful experience of my life
·        Failed to provide thorough information on costs and insurance coverage for IVF
·        Failed to provide an information packet of any sort on how that clinic does IVF
·        Lack of transparency as to staffing changes that may be occurring during a cycle

I have received apologies--from a newly-hired nurse for rescheduling, and from a doctor for my painful experience. I still see that nurse and doctor. Nothing else on this list has been corrected or apologized for. For a service that we gamble tens of thousands of dollars on, and that requires us to substantially rearrange our lives for a painful, mere attempt, at having children, the very beneficiaries of our struggle, the fertility clinics, should be more conscientious of how their mistakes and behavior affect us.

The larger, immediate problem when these sorts of mistakes occur is that it strikes at the heart of an in-progress IVF cycle (or other treatment). It makes us doubt the very people that are supposed to be important members of our team. For me, the single thing that most influences my anxiety level during an IVF cycle is my faith and trust in my fertility team. That includes my clinic staff, nurses, embryologists, doctors, phlebotomists, pharmacists and geneticists, as well as my husband. While other people can be supportive and helpful during an IVF cycle, if they aren’t, I can block them out while in-cycle. I can’t block out this group. I need them, and I need them to be reliable and trustworthy.

I know we’re not the only ones, so what clinic mistakes and issues have added to your infertility stress?

Wordless Wednesday: Tired, So Tired

Can't you see I'm napping?

BlogHer Recap Part 1: Vacation, Expo & Parties

BlogHer is basically a summer camp for grown up girls who like to be on the internet. I mean this in a very, very, good way. Don’t get me wrong, the Wacky Wicketeer had a great time too, but he is not the target demographic. This year, BlogHer was in San Diego. Just a plane-hop from home!

Vacation

Since we decided to make it a vacation for him and travel as a couple, the Wacky Wicketeer and I arrived in San Diego Thursday morning. I did not register for PathfinderDay because I found out about too late, after we had already made our plans. Also because it cost more money. Fortunately, we were able to check into the hotel early, so we dropped off our luggage, and figured out how we could take public transit to the Hotel del Coronado. Our hotel room at the Marriott was awesome, and from the 22^nd floor, we had a great view. But the Hotel del Coronado is a landmark that has been around since the 19^th Century, and is a work of art in wood.

View from our room at the Marriott

Hotel del Coronado

We spent the rest of the day on Coronado Island, checking out the hotel, having lunch on their deck, and enjoying the beach. And that was my last meal we paid for until Sunday.

Beach on Coronado Island

Expo and Parties

That night the conference really began, with a series of three parties. I had obtained an Expo and Cocktail Pass (a.k.a. the Party Pass) for the Wacky Wicketeer so he could attend these events with me, and each night there were three more parties. All had complimentary food, and we had received drink tickets with our conference badges, so the parties alone made up for the cost of our conference admission.

The Expo was awesome. And huge. And full of giveaways. One woman’s junk was another woman’s swag, and thanks to the swag exchange room, we could take and leave accordingly! The Wacky Wicketeer (a.k.a. the Digital Emperor) was ready to pass out from the effort of trying to consume every ice cream, lasagna, sausage, and other food product being offered at the Expo. Referring to these samples, he called it “Costco on steroids!” Thank goodness there was dedicated time for it on Thursday, because otherwise I would not have had a chance to see most of it. Thanks to the Expo, we got to meet the Pine Sol Lady and the Swiffer Dust guy (on Thursday), not to mention Bob Harper and Giuliana Rancic (on Saturday).

As for the actual parties, they were pretty fun. Though I was pretty disappointed in the first night, Friday and Saturday made up for it. Thursday nights’ parties had pretty bland food. The others were an improvement. My favorite party was Sparklecorn, and you can see the awesome unicorn cake in last week’s Wordless Wednesday post. If the Expo was Costco on steroids, Sparklecorn was girl power on steroids! It was all about unicorns, sparkle, and glow-in-the-dark sticks. The DJ was the best I’ve heard in a long time, and we had a great time dancing the night away! There were also giant, soft pretzels, which I love. Saturday night’s parties were unique and fun, but by the time we got to Cheeseburgher, I was ready to pass out from exhaustion. So we gave away the rest of our drink tickets, and called it a conference.

Fireworks while at the Social Fiesta

The coolest part about the parties was that I got to meet some great bloggers and tweeps that I already knew online: Maya, Dresden, MrsLaLa, and Dead Cow Girl, to name just a few! A highlight was Dresden, upon first meeting us, saying to the Wacky Wicketeer, “wow, you’re cute!” She made him blush and me giggle!

Come back soon to read about Friday and Saturday’s conference sessions!