Experiences and issues in infertility, loss, and family building.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wordless Wednesday: Family
Started a family tree for DH and I...family has been on my mind a lot lately.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Austin: Observations at a sidewalk cafe
I came to Austin, Texas for three reasons:
1. To visit DH while he is here for two and a half weeks for work. We haven’t been apart from each other for longer than 4 nights since the summer I went to an international law program in Salzburg-right before we moved in together almost six years ago. Since I am self-employed and currently keeping my workload to a minimum, I thought it would be a good idea to visit him on this work trip.
2. To TTC! It turns out his work trip was scheduled just perfectly to MISS our ENTIRE fertile window this cycle, by several days each side of said window. So, if I didn’t come visit him here, we would have zero chance of getting pregnant this month. To those not dealing with infertility, you might not think one month is a big deal. When you have spent 25 cycles trying to get pregnant, and 5 months being pregnant, having a miscarriage and recovering from that miscarriage, you’re turning 34 this month, DH has challenged spermies, this is your last chance for a 2010 baby, and you only have two more months to get pregnant before the doctors officially will diagnose you as being of “Advanced Maternal Age” (“AMA”)....trust me, one month IS a BIG DEAL.
3. To get the heck outta dodge. I get the travel bug a few times each year. I start spending copious amounts of time on the internet researching random trips to various parts of the world, trying to figure out a practical way to fit a trip into our lives and our budget. It drives me bonkers not being able to go, and once the bug hits, the longer I have to go without traveling, the more I obsess over it, the less productive I am, and the more annoying I am to DH.
So, here I am, spending nine days in Austin, Texas, and it just happens to be during the South by Southwest music festival. This is apparently a huge industry event, and an already uniquely odd city is now teeming with wacky music-types. Being in this place and time has led me to certain observations.
One afternoon, I found myself writing this as I experienced it:
1. To visit DH while he is here for two and a half weeks for work. We haven’t been apart from each other for longer than 4 nights since the summer I went to an international law program in Salzburg-right before we moved in together almost six years ago. Since I am self-employed and currently keeping my workload to a minimum, I thought it would be a good idea to visit him on this work trip.
2. To TTC! It turns out his work trip was scheduled just perfectly to MISS our ENTIRE fertile window this cycle, by several days each side of said window. So, if I didn’t come visit him here, we would have zero chance of getting pregnant this month. To those not dealing with infertility, you might not think one month is a big deal. When you have spent 25 cycles trying to get pregnant, and 5 months being pregnant, having a miscarriage and recovering from that miscarriage, you’re turning 34 this month, DH has challenged spermies, this is your last chance for a 2010 baby, and you only have two more months to get pregnant before the doctors officially will diagnose you as being of “Advanced Maternal Age” (“AMA”)....trust me, one month IS a BIG DEAL.
3. To get the heck outta dodge. I get the travel bug a few times each year. I start spending copious amounts of time on the internet researching random trips to various parts of the world, trying to figure out a practical way to fit a trip into our lives and our budget. It drives me bonkers not being able to go, and once the bug hits, the longer I have to go without traveling, the more I obsess over it, the less productive I am, and the more annoying I am to DH.
So, here I am, spending nine days in Austin, Texas, and it just happens to be during the South by Southwest music festival. This is apparently a huge industry event, and an already uniquely odd city is now teeming with wacky music-types. Being in this place and time has led me to certain observations.
One afternoon, I found myself writing this as I experienced it:
Sitting at an open sidewalk cafe, giant
Glass doors open to the world of the intersection next door. Eating
Spicy hummus wrap and drinking rosy-red hibiscus tea, watching
Bikers pull away, listening
To the dried-up and wannabe rockers dream lives away, hearing
Three different bands in the distance. One
Jazz, one rapping away, one with a grungy sound trying
To absorb all other vibrations.
But one more thing is necessary.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My first wordless Wednesday!
Well, almost wordless.
The reason I am sitting in a hotel room in Texas all by myself:
Could you resist those dimples? Really?
The reason I am sitting in a hotel room in Texas all by myself:
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
99 Things
OK, I'm jumping on PCOS Chick and Ready to be a Mom's bandwagon and doing my own 99 things post! I just couldn't resist...
The post is a list of 99 things you could have done. Highlight the ones that you yourself have done. Gave me some ideas for what else I need to do!
1. Started your own blog – Um, yes, this one!
2. Slept under the stars – Many times - camping in the forest, on a boat in a lake, in my backyard as a kid.
3. Played in a band - As a pre-teen and teenager. When I was in high school, me and three other girls had a speed-metal badn for a short time. I played bass guitar, and our main song was "There's a Rock in My Shoe!"
4. Visited Hawaii - Twice, Maui and Oahu
5. Watched a meteor shower – I love astronomy and star-gazing
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - I should probably do this a little more, though.
7. Been to DisneyWorld – Nope, but Disneyland numerous times.
8. Climbed a mountain - Made it to the top of Half Dome. Tried Mt. Saint Helens, but started too late and had to turn back. I would like to do more of this.
Jamie in front of Half Dome
9. Held a praying mantis – I used to catch them, play with them and keep them in jars with airholes as a kid.
10. Sang a solo – So my table could get dinner at a wedding buffet.
11. Bungee jumped – No, and I never will. Would rather skydive.
12. Visited Paris – Yes, but it was far too brief a visit. I need to go back.
13. Watched a lightning storm – Many from home, and an amazing and scary one while camping in the Badlands in South Dakota.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - Taught myself how to paint with acrylics and most of what I know of cooking...and how to do my make-up. Actually, a lot of things I know how to do are self-taught.
15. Adopted a child - Someday!
16. Had food poisoning - Too many times, including once from e. coli that was on lettuce at a banquet - hundreds of us got sick.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty – No, but I did stand on top of the World Trade Center.
18. Grown your own vegetables – Yep, I have a garden.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France – No, this is why I need to go back!
20. Slept on an overnight train - Yes, traveling from a little town in Slovakia to Prague, in the Czech Republic. Got woken up by big, scary customs guys banging on my door and speaking in a language I didn't understand several times. Slept with my passport in my hand.
21. Had a pillow fight – I have a sister and was in a sorority, so duh.
22. Hitchhiked – No, and probably never will. Far too dangerous.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill – It's called a mental health day. =)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping – hmmm. several times, although they are a little fuzzy...
27. Run a Marathon – I hope to some day!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice – GAH! I would have, except my dear husband, who at the time was my boyfriend, got food poisoning, and by the time he felt better, we had to be in Milan to catch a plane. =( We LOVE Venice, and mean to go back and take that ride!
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset – Hasn't everybody?
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language - Taught myself some Italian and now teaching myself a little Greek
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - One stop on our honeymoon!
39. Gone rock climbing – Just indoor
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David- Another honeymoon stop!
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - I never thought of this one. What a good idea!
44. Visited Africa - I soooo hope I can someday!
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance - see food poisoning description, above.
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing - no, but since my cousin is a guide for this, I really should...
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - as high as they would let us go at the time. I can't remember if it was the top or not.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling – Snorkeling. Too claustrophobic for scuba.
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud - As a kid often. These days, it's called gardening. ;-)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater – Used to go all the time as a kid, and went to one nearby just last summer.
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business - I have three of them right now.
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies – I was a girl scout for 5 years and sold cookies for each of them
62. Gone whale watching - in Hawaii
63. Got flowers for no reason – Yes, but before I was married, and not from my husband (honey, I hope you're reading this)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma – Yes, twice donated blood for general use, and then donated for my dad's brain surgery, and they hit a major nerve in my arm and caused permanent nerve damage, so no more.
65. Gone sky diving - I SO want to do this!
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - Just outside of Munich, I can't remember the name. It was so incredibly sad.
67. Bounced a check - I don't remember it, but I used to be so bad at balancing my checkbook, I'm sure I did when I was younger.
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - I still have many, including babrbie dolls, cabbage patch kids, my little ponies, a kimberly doll and some stuffed bunny rabbits! Most are in storage, but the bunnies share the bed when my dear husband is gone.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Gave me goosebumps.
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone – None, and um, I don't plan to. This shouldn't really be on a list of things you want to do, should it?
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book – Not a book, but been published academically.
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - Several times
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve – This was the same night as one of the skinny dipping incidents. lol
86. Visited the White House - Not sure what counts as a visit, I stood at the gate, but security was too high and you couldn't get a tour.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating – Fish.
88. Had chickenpox – For my ninth birthday.
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous - Former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan and his wife (got to sit and talk with them for awhile), composer Henry Mancini, Jerry Rice, Bubba Paris, Don Larsen, Peja Stojakovic...probably more, but I can't remember right now.
92. Joined a book club - lol. I run one.
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby – Not yet!
95. Seen the Alamo in person - hoping to this year
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit – LOL. I'm a lawyer, so yes.
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
So there is my version of 99 things! I'm hoping to add some pictures soon, but right now it's time to go to bed. If you want to play, copy and paste this list and highlight the things you have done!
The post is a list of 99 things you could have done. Highlight the ones that you yourself have done. Gave me some ideas for what else I need to do!
1. Started your own blog – Um, yes, this one!
2. Slept under the stars – Many times - camping in the forest, on a boat in a lake, in my backyard as a kid.
3. Played in a band - As a pre-teen and teenager. When I was in high school, me and three other girls had a speed-metal badn for a short time. I played bass guitar, and our main song was "There's a Rock in My Shoe!"
4. Visited Hawaii - Twice, Maui and Oahu
Jamie & DH at North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower – I love astronomy and star-gazing
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - I should probably do this a little more, though.
7. Been to DisneyWorld – Nope, but Disneyland numerous times.
8. Climbed a mountain - Made it to the top of Half Dome. Tried Mt. Saint Helens, but started too late and had to turn back. I would like to do more of this.
Jamie in front of Half Dome
Mt. Lassen during a camping trip
9. Held a praying mantis – I used to catch them, play with them and keep them in jars with airholes as a kid.
10. Sang a solo – So my table could get dinner at a wedding buffet.
11. Bungee jumped – No, and I never will. Would rather skydive.
12. Visited Paris – Yes, but it was far too brief a visit. I need to go back.
13. Watched a lightning storm – Many from home, and an amazing and scary one while camping in the Badlands in South Dakota.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - Taught myself how to paint with acrylics and most of what I know of cooking...and how to do my make-up. Actually, a lot of things I know how to do are self-taught.
15. Adopted a child - Someday!
16. Had food poisoning - Too many times, including once from e. coli that was on lettuce at a banquet - hundreds of us got sick.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty – No, but I did stand on top of the World Trade Center.
18. Grown your own vegetables – Yep, I have a garden.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France – No, this is why I need to go back!
20. Slept on an overnight train - Yes, traveling from a little town in Slovakia to Prague, in the Czech Republic. Got woken up by big, scary customs guys banging on my door and speaking in a language I didn't understand several times. Slept with my passport in my hand.
21. Had a pillow fight – I have a sister and was in a sorority, so duh.
22. Hitchhiked – No, and probably never will. Far too dangerous.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill – It's called a mental health day. =)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping – hmmm. several times, although they are a little fuzzy...
27. Run a Marathon – I hope to some day!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice – GAH! I would have, except my dear husband, who at the time was my boyfriend, got food poisoning, and by the time he felt better, we had to be in Milan to catch a plane. =( We LOVE Venice, and mean to go back and take that ride!
Jamie in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset – Hasn't everybody?
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language - Taught myself some Italian and now teaching myself a little Greek
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - One stop on our honeymoon!
Jamie & the Leaning Tower of Pisa
39. Gone rock climbing – Just indoor
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David- Another honeymoon stop!
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - I never thought of this one. What a good idea!
44. Visited Africa - I soooo hope I can someday!
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance - see food poisoning description, above.
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing - no, but since my cousin is a guide for this, I really should...
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - as high as they would let us go at the time. I can't remember if it was the top or not.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling – Snorkeling. Too claustrophobic for scuba.
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud - As a kid often. These days, it's called gardening. ;-)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater – Used to go all the time as a kid, and went to one nearby just last summer.
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business - I have three of them right now.
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies – I was a girl scout for 5 years and sold cookies for each of them
62. Gone whale watching - in Hawaii
63. Got flowers for no reason – Yes, but before I was married, and not from my husband (honey, I hope you're reading this)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma – Yes, twice donated blood for general use, and then donated for my dad's brain surgery, and they hit a major nerve in my arm and caused permanent nerve damage, so no more.
65. Gone sky diving - I SO want to do this!
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - Just outside of Munich, I can't remember the name. It was so incredibly sad.
67. Bounced a check - I don't remember it, but I used to be so bad at balancing my checkbook, I'm sure I did when I was younger.
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - I still have many, including babrbie dolls, cabbage patch kids, my little ponies, a kimberly doll and some stuffed bunny rabbits! Most are in storage, but the bunnies share the bed when my dear husband is gone.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Gave me goosebumps.
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone – None, and um, I don't plan to. This shouldn't really be on a list of things you want to do, should it?
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book – Not a book, but been published academically.
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - Several times
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve – This was the same night as one of the skinny dipping incidents. lol
86. Visited the White House - Not sure what counts as a visit, I stood at the gate, but security was too high and you couldn't get a tour.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating – Fish.
88. Had chickenpox – For my ninth birthday.
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous - Former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan and his wife (got to sit and talk with them for awhile), composer Henry Mancini, Jerry Rice, Bubba Paris, Don Larsen, Peja Stojakovic...probably more, but I can't remember right now.
92. Joined a book club - lol. I run one.
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby – Not yet!
95. Seen the Alamo in person - hoping to this year
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit – LOL. I'm a lawyer, so yes.
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
So there is my version of 99 things! I'm hoping to add some pictures soon, but right now it's time to go to bed. If you want to play, copy and paste this list and highlight the things you have done!
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