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| Chocolate Heart by Bartek Ambrozik |
Experiences and issues in infertility, loss, and family building.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
The Break-In
So, I suppose I should give some explanation of my Wordless Wednesday post last week. Basically, while the Wacky Wicketeer and I were out on our Valentines' date last Sunday night, our house was broken into.
On the one hand, we were very fortunate that they didn't take a LOT more than they did. The value of what was taken barely meets our deductible, so it's not even worth the postage to file a claim with the insurance company. We made our police report, and that's enough.
On the other hand, we feel violated and physically insecure. Especially me. And really, really irritated that a family heirloom jade ring, my childhood coin collection, and my laptop were all stolen (amongst other things). It's really difficult to rebuild your calendar, writing, blog artwork, contact information, and to recreate the numerous lists you use when you are an obsessive planner like I am. Oh, and not to mention the mounds of laundry I had to do because I couldn't stand the thought of wearing my clothes after the burglars had put their grimey hands all over them, rifled through them and pulled them out all over the bedroom. Yeesh.
I think it suffices to say, once your house is robbed, you are not only extra vigilant, but you increase the home's security. When we arrived home and saw doors open, I think we both had a moment when we held our breath, expecting the worst. We were lucky the first hit was a small one. It brought our attention to the security of our home, and now we can prevent the very thing we thought had happened.
On the one hand, we were very fortunate that they didn't take a LOT more than they did. The value of what was taken barely meets our deductible, so it's not even worth the postage to file a claim with the insurance company. We made our police report, and that's enough.
On the other hand, we feel violated and physically insecure. Especially me. And really, really irritated that a family heirloom jade ring, my childhood coin collection, and my laptop were all stolen (amongst other things). It's really difficult to rebuild your calendar, writing, blog artwork, contact information, and to recreate the numerous lists you use when you are an obsessive planner like I am. Oh, and not to mention the mounds of laundry I had to do because I couldn't stand the thought of wearing my clothes after the burglars had put their grimey hands all over them, rifled through them and pulled them out all over the bedroom. Yeesh.
I think it suffices to say, once your house is robbed, you are not only extra vigilant, but you increase the home's security. When we arrived home and saw doors open, I think we both had a moment when we held our breath, expecting the worst. We were lucky the first hit was a small one. It brought our attention to the security of our home, and now we can prevent the very thing we thought had happened.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Oh, Dear, It's Been Awhile!
Somehow, two and a half months have passed without a post! I think I am struggling against a mental block, wanting to finish my description of everything I've been through in the last couple of years, but at the same time, not wanting to think about it too much.
Right now, I can say that I was depressed last year. Pretty much the whole year, with only a couple days where things seemed bright and the fog briefly parted. I think those closest to me could see the evidence of it: My lack of productivity, my more frequently messy house, my need for escapism.
The new year has brought with it a new attitude for me. I think it provided a mechanism by which I could divide the sadness and horrors of the last year from the bright future I hope for. I knew I had successfuly moved out of my depression when, on January 11, I suddenly realized that I had passed the anniversary of my physical loss of my first baby five days prior, and had completely missed it. These anniversaries are normally days of deep reflection and sadness for me. But here, I had passed right by it!
For me, that was a sign. I will never forget what it was like to be joyfully pregnant with those two babies, as brief as my time of joy was. The Wacky Wicketeer and I will memorialize them in our own way every year on their Greek Saints' name days. But, I am no longer in mourning. I am optimistic, and happy. I have Hope again.
Right now, I can say that I was depressed last year. Pretty much the whole year, with only a couple days where things seemed bright and the fog briefly parted. I think those closest to me could see the evidence of it: My lack of productivity, my more frequently messy house, my need for escapism.
The new year has brought with it a new attitude for me. I think it provided a mechanism by which I could divide the sadness and horrors of the last year from the bright future I hope for. I knew I had successfuly moved out of my depression when, on January 11, I suddenly realized that I had passed the anniversary of my physical loss of my first baby five days prior, and had completely missed it. These anniversaries are normally days of deep reflection and sadness for me. But here, I had passed right by it!
For me, that was a sign. I will never forget what it was like to be joyfully pregnant with those two babies, as brief as my time of joy was. The Wacky Wicketeer and I will memorialize them in our own way every year on their Greek Saints' name days. But, I am no longer in mourning. I am optimistic, and happy. I have Hope again.
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