Shaking It Out

My favorite current song is Florence + The Machine's "Shake It Out". After four and a half years of trying to have a baby, failed IUIs, IVFs, and miscarriages, with diagnoses of both male and female factor infertility, I feel like I need to "Shake It Out".

After our last failed embryo transfer in November, with no frozen embryos left, and at almost 36 years old, the odds becoming increasingly stacked against us having a our own genetic child, spending $20,000 a pop on each additional IVF attempt feels like a massive waste of money. Unless something else changes to improve our odds, I don't see us doing more IVF attempts using my own eggs. Neither does the Wacky Wicketeer. To be honest, I don't really want to put my body through that again for these odds. I have no idea how some women go through it seven times. Two has done me in. I can feel my organs, different pieces of my body, rebelling against the process; Screaming at me to stop.

Right now we're not sure what family-building route we will take. Donor egg? Donor embryo? Adoption? There's still no goalie in place, but with our odds, we know better than to get our hopes up that a) we'll get pregnant, plus b) we'll stay pregnant. Miracles do happen, but in the meantime we are researching our options, and taking some time to "shake the devil off our back", as Florence might put it.

Take a minute to enjoy the video and read the lyrics. I think we can all use an occasional "Shake It Out"!



Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off

And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but its left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh woah, oh woah...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah


Florence And The Machine Shake It Out lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/florence-and-the-machine-shake-it-out-lyrics.html

My Organization Memes

Hello, dear readers, and happy 2012! Again, it’s been too long since my last post. I have so many ideas for posts backed up in my head, I hardly know where to start. So, I asked around, and here’s where I’m starting: My organization memes.

I do writing, legal and consulting work as an independent contractor from home. So, I make my own work schedule and limit my hours to only part-time. I also do volunteer work for my Church, run a local book club and co-run a local peer support group for infertile women. The point being, I have lots of stuff to do, but no kind of a regular schedule, and much of it not bringing in any money. Since that leaves the Wacky Wicketeer as the primary breadwinner, I also feel it’s my responsibility to be the primary homemaker. Yes, I am a proud housewife!

My unorthodox schedule lends to time passing without much housekeeping getting done, either because it doesn’t occur to me to do it, or it doesn’t have the pressure behind it that makes it a higher priority. So I thought why not use memes? You know, the way bloggers do for regular posts like “Wordless Wednesday”, “Meatless Monday”, etcetera. So here’s what I came up with:

Mail, Media & Medicine Mondays – This helps me make sure I check my two mailboxes a minimum of once a week, and that the mail actually gets sorted, including any coupon clipping. It also is when I schedule social network status updates for the dozen or so accounts I run as a volunteer. Third, it’s when I sort all my pills out into their little weekly/daily labeled boxes.

Tasty Tuesdays – This reminds me to do my meal planning and grocery shopping.

Wash, Water & Weigh-in Wednesdays – Wash refers to laundry. Of course, I can’t do ALL my laundry in one day, but this reminds me to get it started, wash those things I might put off, like extra linens, and do any leftover folding, hanging and ironing. Wednesdays are also for watering the potted plants and weighing myself.

Thoughtful Thursdays – I try to focus on reading, research and writing.

Fresh Fridays – Fresh is just another word for clean. Each Friday I pick a room to make “fresh”. My house has 12 rooms plus the hall/stairs/landing area, so it’s a lot for one person to clean. Having a day each week devoted to one room is supposed to help me keep up without feeling overwhelmed. Having it be a last-minute decision as to which room also allows me to pay more attention to rooms that need it. Check back with me in a few months to see if it’s working!

What do you do to help keep yourself on task and accomplish those mundane things that could easily slip by, like housekeeping?

Also, since I'm so behind on blogposts, what would you like me to post about?